HERE IS A new Judge John Hodgman in which I settle a dispute between two brothers.

PRESS PLAY!

BUT FIRST, please review the EVIDENCE, and tell me if you can guess what this is all about.

MOUSE OVER THE PHOTOGRAPH for a hint.

EXHIBIT A

SUBSCRIPTION INFORMATION and additional bonus evidence from MY OWN CHILDHOOD is, as always, available HERE.

THAT IS ALL

HELLO READERS OF THIS FAKE AND LAZY BLOG

SOME OF YOU have already discovered the new episode of JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN that was transmitted earlier this week, and is listenable THUSLY.

BUT MORE OF YOU have not seen the IMPORTANT EVIDENCE that accompanies my cruel but fair ruling in the case of the CONE-TRACTUAL DISPUTE.

PHOTOGRAPHS from both parties are now available at www.maximumfun.org and RIGHT HERE:

EVIDENCE FROM AMY, a humble seamstress:

EXHIBIT A

EXHIBIT B

EXHIBIT C

EVIDENCE FROM GUS, a deranged man who wants to keep Amy in his basement:

EXHIBIT A (wide angle, for EXTRA MADNESS!)

EXHIBIT B

EXHIBIT C

EXHIBIT D (!)

I THINK YOU WILL SEE MY RULING was perhaps extra cruel this time, but also: EXTRA FAIR.

That is all.

DO NOT BE CONCERNED, if you ever were.

I WAS NOT SWALLOWED BY THE SEA, nor the hungry mobs aboard the JOCO CRUISE.

INDEED, I WAS TREATED WELL by both parties, and miss them greatly.

WHILE I WAS AWAY, Mr. Jesse Thorn was kind enough to post the latest episode of JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN, which you may now enjoy.

AND ADDITIONALLY, I may also offer you this SPECIAL, MARITIME LAW EDITION OF JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN from the cruise itself, with special guest bailiff, DAVID REES.

EMBEDDED VIDEO COURTESY: simalot.

THAT IS ALL.

TODAY (January 2nd of 2011) I EMBARK UPON THE EURODAM, queen of the Jonathan Coulton Cruise Crazy fleet, to join COULTON HIMSELF and many others you know for a week’s worth of performances, buffets, napping, and horrible sunburns.

WHILE I AM DISPENSING JUSTICE UPON THE SEA, I will be largely out of reach of the internet lines, and so for the first time in years, there will be an actual reason for my PROLONGED, LAZY SILENCE here on the imitation blog.

I HOPE YOU WILL FORGIVE ME.

That is all.