LAST NIGHT I WENT TO SEE THE NEW TRON MOVIE.

I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS MOVIE, but as they are cranky, Scroogey thoughts that will only diminish joy, so I will let you enjoy your holiday season, and I will bother you about this LATER.*

BUT THE MAIN THING IS THAT, in haste, I tweeted this joke.

“I guess the rights to Barry Bostwick’s young face are still owned by Babylon 5.”

NOT THAT IT WOULD MAKE A LOT OF SENSE ANYWAY, but as the gracious HIVE MIND of Twitter was quick and APPROPRIATELY RUTHLESS to point out that it was BRUCE BOXLEITNER who played “Tron” and was also on Babylon 5.

BARRY BOSTWICK, of course, was in Megaforce.

IT WAS REALLY A DUMB MISTAKE, and I apologize to Mssrs Bostwick and Boxleitner**, and all of you.

That is all.

*(HINT: if ET had been written by the writers and producers and plot-generating robots who fashioned TRON 2′s script instead of Melissa Mathison, that movie would not have ended with ET going home, but with ET being dissected and studied by Peter Coyote for the good of mankind, and that would be presented as a “Happy Ending.” BAH HUMBUG!)

**(Which really should be a reality show in which the actual actors solve actual, puzzling crimes).

VERY QUICKLY, here are two events that may interest you if you like these things:

MUSIC
PAGEANTRY
@johnroderick DRESSED AS SANTA
PARANOIA
EUGENE MIRMAN, SINGING
JOHN CARPENTER
CABINETS OF WONDER
JONATHAN LETHEM
MAGIC SUNGLASSES
UKULELES
WINERIES
THE WORKS OF ROWDY RODDY PIPER

IF YOU LIKE any three things from the above list, then it is required that you attend:

FIRST, tomorrow night at 8PM:

JOHN WESLEY HARDING’S CABINET OF WONDERS at the City Winery here in Manhattan, NYC, featuring the titular JW Harding, plus AC Newman, Gary Shteyngart, Olabelle, dumb old me, MIRMAN!, and Roderick, all Kringled up as promised.

TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE HERE.

SECOND, next Tuesday night (DECEMBER 21), also at 8PM:

A VERY SPECIAL XMAS SCREENING OF JOHN CARPENTER’S “THEY LIVE” at the IFC center here in Manhattan, NYC, featuring Jonathan Lethem discussing this important american film about sunglasses in honor of HIS INCREDIBLE AND MUCH-NEEDED NEW BOOK ON THE VERY SAME SUBJECT, and also dumb old me.

DETAILS ARE AVAILABLE HERE

It is such a busy (and I hope for all of us, a happy) time as the holidays rush by, so I am not going to CATEGORIZE this post and just move on with buying presents FOR ALL OF YOU.

BUT I HOPE WE CAN ALL RAISE A GLASS OF WASSAIL AT THESE EVENTS TOGETHER, or if not these events, some happy meeting soon.

THAT IS ALL.

DAVID REES, who has hijacked the blogging for THE JONATHAN COULTON CRUISE (and I presume will hijack the actual ship, until I stop him while wearing a chef’s hat), talks to PAUL F TOMPKINS about board games and heavy metal music:

That is all.

HERE ARE TWO PIECES OF EVIDENCE I will be using this afternoon in my role as JUDGE JOHN HODGMAN, with regard to two separate cases:

EXHIBIT A

THE OTHER EXHIBIT A

WHILE THE ACTUAL RULINGS will not be posted for some days, you should study these images carefully and commit them to memory.

PERHAPS YOU SHOULD EVEN MAKE A SKETCH OF THEM so that you can refer to them later. That way, you will be able to follow along as I provide my analysis and final judgment in the lives of

TOM AND KIERSTEN AND GREG AND SHANNON (a new play by Neil Simon).

THERE IS NO OTHER TECHNOLOGY OTHER THAN MEMORY AND SKETCHING THAT WILL ALLOW THIS.

That is all.

POST SCRIPT: If you do make a sketch, send it to me, and I will post it.