I MENTIONED THIS ON TWITTER, yesterday, but I need to share this with even the most CASUAL OF IMITATION BLOG READERS.

HERE IS CAPTAIN ZORIKH, one of the LARPers who will be playing football with me tomorrow afternoon.

HONESTLY, I DO NOT THING I EVEN NEED TO SHOW UP FOR THIS SHOW anymore. Zorikh’s got this one.

SEE YOU TOMORROW, I hope.

That is all.

I CONTINUE TO RECEIVE REPORTS that folks who have requested tickets to the NERDS vs. JOCKTACULAR this Tuesday have still not received confirmation e-mails.

I AM LOOKING INTO THIS as we speak.

ALL I CAN TELL YOU IS: I will certainly be there at 3PM on Tuesday, and we WILL be doing a show, and the Armory has seating for about 1,700. So I think it’s safe to say that you WILL get in, and you WILL get a seat, though that seat may be in the gallery as opposed to on the floor.

I DO NOT THINK IT WOULD HURT, meanwhile, to write to jhodgmantickets (at) gmail.com and either

A) REQUEST tickets for the very first time;

or B) REMIND THAT EMAIL ADDRESS that you are still awaiting confirmation.

THAT IS, if you actually do want to see me humiliated by actual football players and also Sarah Vowell.

That is all.

I CAN NOW CONFIRM SOME FURTHER DETAILS regarding the “NERDS V. JOCKS” program we are presenting NEXT TUESDAY AFTERNOON, Sept 28, at the 168th St Armory.

FIRST, in addition to Mr. Nick Mangold, a New York Jet, we will also be joined by MS. SARAH VOWELL, a New York Shark, a good friend, and also an expert on Theodore Roosevelt, our first modern nerd president, and also our first modern jock president.

SECOND, for those of you who asked, there WILL be Artisanal Pencil Sharpening before the show. We are working on a way to show it on the jumbotron.

THIRD, to reiterate, the show will be at 4PM, and you will be asked to arrive at 3PM. This is due to the fact that we are primarily using natural lighting at the Armory to allow you to see the program.

COMPLAINING ABOUT THESE START TIMES ON TWITTER WILL NOT CHANGE THE MOTION OF THE SUN, so I appreciate your understanding.

FOURTH, because we are using THE SUN for light (and, to a lesser degree, for WARMTH), we will probably be wrapping up no later that 7, and likely/hopefully MUCH earlier. Frankly, it depends on how long the football game goes.

I HOPE THAT ANSWERS ALL YOUR QUESTIONS and sparks interesting new ones.

AS ALWAYS, all details may be found HERE, and IF YOU WISH FOR TICKETS, they are still free and still available by writing to jhodgmantickets (at) gmail.com.

It would be very nice to see you in the light of our very own sun.

That is all.

NOW THAT I HAVE COME OUT OF THE FRUIT CELLAR after yesterday’s freak Brooklyn-style tornado,

I HAVE BEEN RECEIVING SCATTERED REPORTS on Twitter and elsewhere that ticket confirmation e-mails ARE BEING SENT OUT and then RECEIVED.

I AM ALSO RECEIVING ANGRY REPORTS that the confirmation email itself is presented in COMIC SANS, a font that inspires angry reports.

I APOLOGIZE TO YOU, TYPEFACE NERDS, for any offense. I promise you this: all of my performance at the show will be BARELY COMIC and HIGHLY SERIF-ED.

“WHAT SHOW?” you are asking. I am speaking of

“GOOD EVENING, MY NAME IS JOHN HODGMAN“, a variety program I am auditioning for television on Sept 28th at the 168th Street Armory in New York City.

THOUGH WE HAVE HAD A TREMENDOUS RESPONSE, tickets are still very available and will not sell out, because WE ARE SHOOTING THIS THING IN A GIGANTIC ARMORY.

THEREFORE, please bring your friends, your extended families, and entire branches of your workplace.

SIMPLY: write to jhodgmantickets (at) gmail.com and tell them how many you want.

I REMIND YOU IT IS FOR FREE. On the other hand, it is to be filmed at 4PM, so that we may have some daylight; this means you will need to be there at 3PM, and plan to stay for a couple of hours.

BUT I PROMISE YOU: IT WILL BE THE BEST FREE SHOW in a former Armory turned sports center that you have ever attended on 9/28/10.

That is all.

AS I HAVE COYLY/BADLY HINTED on Twitter, there is something that I want to tell you about.

ON SEPTEMBER 28, AT 4PM in the afternoon, I will be putting on a show entitled GOOD EVENING, MY NAME IS JOHN HODGMAN, a kind of talk and variety program in which together we explore a certain theme through conversation, music, contests of brain and muscle, and an actual game of football.

THE THEME OF THIS PARTICULAR PROGRAM is “JOCKS vs. NERDS,” the culture war of our time, and a subject that you know I have been thinking about for some time now, and also talking about with the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

IN THIS CASE, the “NERD” shall be played by me, John Hodgman, and the “JOCK” shall be played by the New York Jet, NICK MANGOLD, as I confront all of my deepest fears (humiliation/being punched/Nick Mangold) and attempted to learn from him the virtues of jock culture and the rules of football.

APPROPRIATELY, this shall all take place in the MAGNIFICENTLY HUGE ATHLETIC PALACE known as the 168th Street Armory/National Track and Field Hall of Fame in Washington Heights, which is a beautiful space to look at and run around in, but somewhat difficult to light, and that is why we will be meeting at 4PM. (YOU MUST BE ABLE TO ARRIVE AT 3PM)

THERE SHALL ALSO BE SPECIAL OTHER GUESTS, and other ways in which I am made a fool of, and of course, MUSIC by COULTON HIMSELF.

PLUS: THE PREDICTABLE JUMBOTRON SHENANIGANS.

I AM CONFIDENT THAT THIS SHALL BE A VERY FUN SHOW, one that will leave me bruised, and you, I hope, amused.

BUT ALSO, I HAVE DISCUSSED THIS PROGRAM ON THE INTERNET as the closest thing to the return of the Little Gray Book Lectures that shall ever exist, and those of you who are elderly enough to remember those evenings will already recognize the parallels. The Lectures were a series of themed discussions once held in a former mayonnaise-factory-turned-bar in Williamsburg before “BURGS” were incredibly cool. I have long wanted to return to this venture, but was thwarted by the demands of television, and the feeling that we had accomplished as much as we could in a former mayonnaise factory, and now needed to evolve, and challenge ourselves, and move on to a larger stage.

IDEALLY, this stage would be AT LEAST THE SIZE OF AN ARMORY DRILL HALL, so we have already accomplished that.

BUT, IN ADDITION TO ALL OF THIS, ALL OF THIS shall be filmed, for consideration by HBO to perhaps become an actual television program, and SPECIFICALLY it shall be filmed by Mssrs SPIKE JONZE and LANCE BANGS, of the motion pictures, all of which is a sentence it still surprises and frightens me to type.

IT WOULD EQUALLY DELIGHT ME to see you there, friends of the Internet, and say to you GOOD EVENING, MY NAME IS JOHN HODGMAN once again, for the very first time.

LUCKILY: attendance is FREE OF CHARGE and EASY TO ARRANGE. If you would like tickets, all you need to do is email your name, email, phone, and number of tickets required to jhodgmantickets @ gmail.com. You will then receive a confirmation email with all the details.

IF YOU FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, then additionally you should say so, and when you check in for the show, you shall learn that you have received not only SPECIAL CONSIDERATION but also A SPECIAL SURPRISE that I cannot discuss further at this time.

PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. I will continue to update you as other details for the evening are confirmed. Until then,

THAT IS ALL.